“There were temples, their doors wide open, filling the streets with the sounds of gongs, cymbals and, in the case of some of the more conservative fundamentalist religions, the brief screams of the victims. There were shops whose strange wares spilled out on to the pavement. There seemed to be rather a lot of friendly young ladies who couldn’t afford many clothes.”
Terry Pratchett, Mort
Towns are places where you can recover your HP, remove any negative status effects, and gather information or acquire items that will help you go back out, explore, and finish more Quests.
It’s what in Attachment Theory is called an Attachment Figure. “Attachment figures are not just close, important relationship partners. They are special individuals to whom a person turns when protection and support are needed.” (Attachment in Adulthood, by Mario Mikulincer and Phillip R. Shaver)
You may run away from a battle because most of your Party was badly hurt: You realized that you won’t defeat those enemies unless you are healed, get new skills, or buy some items. And while skills can come naturally with grinding, you can often get it all solved in a Town.
Attachment Figures can be romantic partners, parents, family members, teachers, managers, therapists, leaders, and more. In fact, Mikulincer and Shaver argue that this list can also include social groups, organizations, sociopolitical entities, supernatural figures, or sometimes even pets.
“Attachment provides both a safe haven and a secure base for personal growth toward mature autonomy.” (Attachment in Adulthood, by Mario Mikulincer and Phillip R. Shaver)
These Attachment Figures make it much easier for us to explore the world with the knowledge that, when that Boss kicks our ass, we have somewhere to recover and try again.
“The transformation of a romantic partner into an attachment figure is a gradual process that depends on the extent to which the person functions as (1) a target for proximity seeking; (2) a source of protection, comfort, support, and relief in times of need (safe haven); and (3) a secure base, encouraging the individual to pursue his or her goals in a safe relational context” (Dynamics of Romantic Love, by Mario Mikulincer and Gail S. Goodman)
Healing (Safe Haven)
The Camp, an Inn, or a Temple are usually the first stops after a tough fight. There’s nothing new for us to gain, but it is crucial to restore our HP and remove any debuffs before even thinking about what to do next.
That’s what a Safe Haven is, “a source of protection, comfort, support, and relief in times of need.” (Dynamics of Romantic Love, by Mario Mikulincer and Gail S. Goodman)
Inanimate objects, substances, and places can also serve as a Safe Haven, but they lack the Secure Base part of the equation that would encourage you to go out and explore. They can also sometimes become addictive or create dependency, which defeats the purpose of an Attachment Figure.
When you’re feeling down, upset or hurt, who do you go to that can bring you back on your feet? And once you recover, what’s your next step? After all, always staying in the safety of the Town makes you an NPC.
“The secure-base function becomes evident only after a safe haven has been provided by a responsive caregiver.” (Attachment Theory Expanded, by Mario Mikulincer and Phillip R. Shaver)
Get Items! (Secure Base)
Once you’ve recovered your HP and are free from the effects of poison or any other debuffs, you might want to start looking for ways to get over these new obstacles.
You can often find help from merchants, shops, blacksmiths, and anyone willing to sell/give you useful items. These are your Secure Bases, which will allow you to get back out there and complete your Quest.
IRL, these are often figures you see as ‘wiser’ and that have given you the tools to take on new challenges. Parents, teachers, doctors, and even some support groups or institutions can be included in this category.
“A secure base for exploration, (…) empowers secure people to explore (…) with confidence that support will be available if they come upon difficult, conflictual, or confounding material,” (Attachment Theory Expanded, by Mario Mikulincer and Phillip R. Shaver)
But wait! There’s more!
Not all those who have the power to heal and give us items count as Attachment Figures.
For Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, they also need to:
- Be available: They can help you when you want to be helped, in the way you need to be helped. There’s no use for a potion to cure poison if you’re petrified, or a Revivify spell if you’ve been cursed (unless going to Valhalla and coming back removes the Curse).
- Not interfere: Micromanaging and taking away power from the person in need defeats the purpose of a Secure Base for exploration. The game would be quite boring if the NPCs took care of ALL your enemies for you. That would also give you no XP.
- Encourage: Do they make you feel like you will eventually be able to do it on your own? There’s a reason most NPCs look up to you, the Hero. What if any new Quest you found came with an “I don’t think you’ll be any good, but sure, give it a shot”? You’d probably feel like leaving to do something else.
This list is similar to Mario Mikulincer and Phillip R. Shaver‘s other components of a security-enhancing attachment: Sensitivity, Mentalizing Stance, and Responsiveness.
Go and explore!
Whatever Quest you’re considering, make sure you have Attachment Figures ready to help you when things get difficult.
And even if they don’t meet all the requirements, some can act only as a Safe Haven or Secure Base depending on the context and your specific needs. So don’t discard them when you need help! Just know who to reach out to and when.
Surround yourself with those who can support you on your Quests so that you can go out and explore with the confidence that, whatever happens, you’ll have somewhere to get the help you need to go back out, complete the Quest, and level up!
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Related Grimoires:
- Attached, by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller
- A Secure Base, by John Bowlby
- Attachment in Adulthood, by Mario Mikulincer and Phillip R. Shaver
- Dynamics of Romantic Love, by Mario Mikulincer and Gail S. Goodman
- Attachment Theory Expanded, by Mario Mikulincer and Phillip R. Shaver
- Attachment Theory Applied, by Mario Mikulincer, Phillip R. Shaver
- Attachment in Psychotherapy, by David J. Wallin
- Wired for Dating, by Stan Tatkin, Harville Hendrix, and Helen LaKelly Hunt
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