“The intelligence of that creature known as a crowd is the square root of the number of people in it.”
Terry Pratchett, Jingo

Bilbo didn’t go on the Quest alone. Bilbo had a group of dwarves who ate all his food and trashed his house… I mean gave him support throughout the journey. Frodo had Aragorn’s sword, Gimli’s axe, Legolas’ bow, and Gollum’s two personalities. Though those last two weren’t official party members.
The point is that just like Bilbo, your Quest will be much easier and more fun if you get a group to accompany you. If you’ve leveled up the QuestFinder Level 1 Skill, you’ve been doing Quests for yourself. Maybe you were being exposed to other players while doing them. Maybe some of them invited you to join their Party. Maybe not, but that’s ok. You leveled up and have a better idea of what you like and what you don’t. That’s all that matters.
Now, it’s time to create your own Party. Or, maybe even, your own Guild.
Party Time!
When you take on Quests, you’ll be going out of your comfort zone. You’ll find monsters, and get your HP drained and your ass kicked more often than not. All in exchange for XP and loot. But sooner or later, you’ll reach unbeatable Bosses. You might feel frustrated and want to quit.
So when the going gets tough, one option is to “surround yourself with people who have the habits you want to have yourself. You’ll rise together. (…) It’s friendship and community that embeds a new identity and help behaviors last over the long run.” (James Clear)
This is especially true if you’re looking to level up specific Skills (or get rid of some debuffs from bad habits). Find (or create) groups that are looking for the same Quests you are. If you’re learning a Skill, you can learn from the top players, as well as by teaching the n00bs.
Your new party can also serve as a secure base to give you the support you might need when desperation hits. Maybe they have items you can borrow, skills to teach you, or they may even join your Quest. You can ask questions, get feedback, or someone may even show you a walkthrough to make your Quest much easier. Being vulnerable and asking for support is one way to achieve true belonging in a group.
Honest Partying
“True belonging is not passive. It’s not the belonging that comes with just joining a group. It’s not fitting in or pretending or selling out because it’s safer. It’s a practice that requires us to be vulnerable, get uncomfortable, and learn how to be present with people without sacrificing who we are.” (Brené Brown)
It’s not about losing yourself to fit in; but about finding how your honest self fits in. Unlike in real life, in RPGs you rarely see repeated races or classes within the same Party. If someone chooses a dwarf, someone else might be an elf, another a hobbit, and so on. Except for humans… you don’t often see humans (who’d play a human, honestly?) So, why not do the same with your own Quests?
Having different characters take part in the same Quest means you’ll have a wider range of Skills to choose from depending on the challenges you’re facing. You may not have range attacks, but someone else might. If you’re a wizard, why not bring along a barbarian to be the tank?

This way, you’re distributing the load of your (and everyone’s) lives. You won’t depend on a single party member (or, worse, yourself alone) and it will make it easier for you to keep your boundaries intact when facing difficult Quests. “Having more than one person in our lives allows our friends to be human. To be busy. To be unavailable at times. To hurt and have problems of their own. To have time alone. Then, when one person can’t be there for us, there’s another phone number to call.” (Henry Cloud and John Townsend)
Leading or Following
It can often feel like everyone else knows what they’re doing except you. But in many cases, everybody’s just as lost as you, hoping for someone else to take the lead and propose something. Anything! It doesn’t really matter if it’s the right direction, as long as it’s any specific direction. Because “the important thing about being a leader is not being right or wrong, but being certain.” (Terry Pratchett)
It’s as easy as looking into your list of Quests from your QuestFinder Level 1 Skill (Quests you already want to do by yourself), and asking if anybody wants to join you.
And don’t think of this as a dictatorship where you’ll suddenly start annoying everybody and become the BBEG (Big Bad Evil Guy) instead of the Hero. After all, even Heroes must set a direction when bringing others to battle with them. It’s everyone else’s choice to follow or not.
Finally, leadership within a group is also flexible. You proposing today’s Quest doesn’t mean you’ll have to come up with tomorrow’s, or next week’s, or month’s, or year’s.
So start building a group of people with different backgrounds, Skills, and characteristics who are united by the only reason to go on a Quest.
All you need to do is share what you’d like to do, and ask if anyone would like to join you. That’s. It.
If you’re ready to start creating your own party and want a step-by-step tutorial, click below to get the party started!
Useful Grimoires:
- Never Eat Alone, by Keith Ferrazzi
- Attached, by Amir Levine and Rachel S.F. Heller
- Models, by Mark Manson
- Level Up Your Life, by Steve Kamb
- Atomic Habits, by James Clear
- Boundaries, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
- Braving the Wilderness, by Brené Brown
- The Happiness Advantage, by Shawn Achor
- Dating and Dragons, by T. Fisher
- Attachment Theory Expanded, by Mario Mikulincer and Phillip R. Shaver