“Attractive men were not in plentiful supply in Lancre, where licking your hand and smoothing your hair down before taking a girl out was considered swanky.”
Carpe Jugulum, Terry Pratchett

Now that you’ve learned to play Solo and have been joining some Parties, you’ve unlocked the Skill to find the Arwen to your Aragorn. The Sam to your Frodo. The Gollum to your Sméagol.
PvP vs 2-P Co-Op
During your Quests you’ve probably come across players you’d like to play with in a more… intimate setting. So the question on the back of your mind might be “Do they want to play with me?” But before you even go there, you should ask yourself whether you’re playing a Player-vs-Player or a 2-Player Co-Op (Cooperative) game.
If, like me, you want a Player 2 instead of an enemy or the BBEG, you might want to go for the Co-Op version. Seeing others as rivals (PvP), you might assume each of you wants different things, and that you have to “convince,” “trick,” or “beat” them to get what you want. Keep in mind that the Charm Person spell has a limited duration… and charmed characters are quite boring to interact with, anyway. So why not find someone looking for another player to form a Party with, and who’s also wondering if you’d be a good addition to their Campaign?

This doesn’t mean being naïve and assuming everyone has the same intentions as yours, but it does mean at least trying to find out if they do. Without playing games and trying to trick anybody. Especially if you’re a dwarf, “a race to whom the aforesaid art of seduction consisted in the main part of tactfully finding out what sex, underneath all that leather and chain-mail, another dwarf was.” (Terry Pratchett)
That’s where being vulnerable, clear, and honest is critical. Regardless of how much beard you have.
Rejection Immunity
“If you aren’t attached to outcomes, rejection doesn’t hurt.” (Robert Glover)
Unlike asking groups to join a Raid (a multi-player Quest), inviting a single player on a 2-Player Quest is a much more vulnerable act. It can force them to give you a direct answer, which can make you feel rejected if they decline. But that’s ok. What you’re actually looking for is an answer, not an outcome. If you’ve mastered QuestFinder Level 1 and Level 2, this next step will be much easier.
The Life you gained in Level 1 will keep your mind from obsessing about results. Guard that Life as if your… life depended on it. The players you’ve met in Level 2 can act as your secure base from which to explore. Return to them often in both good and bad times. If you’re turned down, you’ll have enough things to do and people to help you recharge your HP.
“If you try to have a romantic relationship meet your needs for healing, it is not going to work. You need a support system to ground you so that you can make choices out of strength, not weakness or dependency. Dating was never meant to cure aloneness.” (Henry Cloud and John Townsend)
If you’re busy and supported enough, it’ll also be easier for you to detach from any outcome. Not expecting any result means you won’t feel like you failed, because you weren’t expecting anything. In fact, often the response has nothing to do with you. “Whatever people do, feel, think, or say, don’t take it personally.” (Don Miguel Ruiz)
Just make the goal to ask. If you ask, give yourself some XP on the QuestFinder Level 3 Skill. No matter what the answer is.
Everyone’s an NPC (until proven otherwise)
How attached are you to how NPCs respond when you “Talk” to them? Probably not very much. Unless they’re a certain drow with two scimitars who can kick any enemy’s ass but won’t join your Party regardless of the dialog option you choose. Yes. I’ve tried.

So, you’ve likely spent hours approaching countless NPCs (and some may have approached you). Most often you probably got a single line of dialogue as a response. Sometimes you received a really interesting Quest that resulted in great Loot. Seldom you got amazing new Party members. And other times you found new enemies to get XP from. But I doubt you felt particularly disheartened about any one particular interaction.
So take the same approach. Treat everyone as an NPC until they’ve earned a place in your life. When you reach a new map for the first time (a class, meeting, or any activity), talk to at least a few new NPCs. The only difference is that, in this case, you might be the one inviting them to join you on a Quest. If you want to.
This is Robert Glover’s idea of testing for interest: You know what you want to do. All you want to ask is if they’d like to join you (on a Quest you’d go on anyway, even if it means playing Solo). Whether they do or don’t join your Party, you’ve found your answer.
“A [person] either has high interest in you or [they have] low interest. It isn’t personal either way. Don’t try and figure out why.” (Robert Glover)
Don’t Skip Dungeon Levels
You met someone, liked their weapons, armor, and skin, but know nothing about them. And vice versa. Neither of you can know if the other is a good player to party with until you see each other in action.
Are you sure they’re a good match for your playing style and your Character? Do they really want to venture into some unknown dungeon with someone who might have no skills that can complement their Character?
That’s why they may be more willing to join you on a short Quest to gather some berries rather than slaying a black dragon. And you’ll at least start to get an idea of who they are.
So just start small. Come up with something simple you both might enjoy. Test for interest. See if they’re receptive, neutral or unreceptive to spending more time with you. It’s the same as QuestFinder Level 1, but instead of Quests you’re using it to find Players. If you start from curiosity instead of jumping straight to the Main Quest, you’ll be able to tell if they’re someone you want to keep around or not. And they’ll do the same with you.
Keep it simple. Keep it small.
Try Again Later
Some NPCs reactions to you depend on external triggers. Some of those triggers are under your control. Some are not.
You may have to finish a different Quest first, like looking the part or at least taking a shower. Or maybe it’s a time-sensitive event (you’re either too early or too late). Perhaps you chose the wrong dialogue line. Or your Party is made up of the wrong members. Or Mercury is in retrograde and the Moon is in Aquarius, whatever that means. Unfortunately, in most cases, you’ll never know. And that’s ok.

“When we dare greatly we will err and we will come up short again and again. There will be failures and mistakes and criticism. If we want to be able to move through the difficult disappointments, the hurt feelings, and the heartbreaks that are inevitable in a fully lived life, we can’t equate defeat with being unworthy of love, belonging, and joy. If we do, we’ll never show up and try again.” (Brené Brown)
Unless they’ve clearly said “Never,” you can keep politely inviting them to join you on other Quests. Without resentment or attachment to outcome. Until you’ve decided that you’ve had enough or they’ve said yes. By the same token, them saying “Yes” today doesn’t mean they’re bound to agree again later, and they’re also free to cancel. When to give up trying is up to you.
And if they agreed to join you on one specific Quest, that’s what they said “Yes” to. Nothing more, nothing less. Don’t look into it. Don’t overthink it. Don’t expect them to go dragon-slaying with you just because it’s on the way to picking some berries. If they do, great. But they agreed to berry-picking. So expect to go berry-picking.
Now go out, live your life adventuring solo, go on Raids with your group, and invite someone to pair up with you. Give them the chance to say Yes.
Are you ready to venture on 2-Player Quests? Need a little help finding Players to join you? Check out this Walkthrough made just for you!
Useful Grimoires:
- Daring Greatly, by Brené Brown
- Never Eat Lone, by Keith Ferrazzi
- The Motivation Manifesto, by Brendon Burchard
- Boundaries in Dating, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend
- The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz
- Don't Take it Personally, by Elayne Savage
- Models, by Mark Manson
- Dating Essentials for Men, by Robert Glover
- New Game +, by Harris O'Malley
- I Got Her Number, Now What?, by Harris O'Malley
- Simplified Dating, by Harris O'Malley
- The Love Gap, by Jenna Birch
- Dating and Dragons, by T. Fisher